Ashley, Krissy, PETA, and Pam.

So in Bangor, Maine last week, two extremely hot girls in tiny yellow bikinis protested outside a KFC in the snow. Their names were Ashley and Krissy and, according to PETA, they’re members of the group.

Right.

I guarantee that if you stop by any PETA meeting, you’d be crap out of luck finding anyone remotely like Ashley or Krissy. With the exception of Pam Anderson — who, by the by, is not so much aging as she is rusting — most animal rights activists aren’t hot… or particularly social.

Fact is, their connection to animals is usually based on their alienation from humans.

PETA apparently was protesting KFC because — get this — when you fry chicken, it’s not good for the chickens. But the press eats this stuff up because they love anything involving half-naked chicks.

And so do I.

But there’s a strategy behind these stunts. PETA hopes that the press overlooks the corrupt bedrock of animal rights: That a human is worth no more than a rat — even a hot one.

Which is why PETA would gladly risk a bimbo getting pneumonia for a byline. But maybe they think that’s the only way to get average guys involved in animal rights.

They’re half right. Men will always enjoy looking at a hot chick in bikini, but it’s not the stomach that’s making that decision — which is why there’s always free wings at strip clubs.

~ by mikemathia on December 23, 2008.